Embracing a Multifaceted Sense

An educational leader who oversees the Greenbrier Academy for Girls in West Virginia, L. Jay Mitchell emphasizes the therapeutic model of “applied relationality” that he co-developed, which is based on the idea that forging relationships with others is crucial to emotional well-being. In his book Decide Now: The Good Life or the Best Life, L. Jay Mitchell delves into the theoretical concepts behind this approach and challenges the common conflation of “feeling good” with a deeper sense of life purpose.

In the book, he suggests that good feelings and emotional satisfaction, while important, are ideally not viewed as life priorities. The main goal in life might be more beneficially stated as one that involves attaining “a life of rich meaning and purpose,” in which giving and receiving love and forming quality relationships takes precedence. What many fail to grasp is that there are often complex emotions at work in these processes that do not involve “feeling good.”

Mr. Mitchell also tackles the concepts of self and identity, as well as the uniformity with which many in the psychological community regard such constructs. The self is often treated as a single set of feelings or as a unified thought system. The author argues that people inherently possess conflicting thoughts and mixed feelings about many things. A more productive way of looking at personality may be in terms of “mini-selves” that emerge in various social situations and that may even come into conflict with one another.